The Merriam-Webster dictionary definition for the expression to have a chip on your shoulder:

to have an angry or unpleasant attitude or way of behaving caused by a belief that one has been treated unfairly in the past

The dictionary publishers should have also added “… and be grateful if you have one as it’s one of the greatest motivators you will ever receive”. Ask Tom Brady or Michael Jordan.

Lessons from the GOATS

Brady is the proverbial GOAT in NFL history. Brady was drafted by the Patriots in the 6th round with the 199th pick. In his 23 seasons in the NFL, Brady won a record 7 Super Bowl titles. The winningest quarterback of all time. There were 6 QBs selected before Brady. It has been well documented that Brady played with a massive chip on his shoulder. Everyday in practice he went all out, took nothing for granted and played to prove the doubters and the haters wrong. Man did he ever.

Jordan the NBA GOAT (if you say Lebron or anyone else for that matter please unsubscribe now!) did not make his high school varsity team as a sophomore. He could have easily quit, but Jordan was in the gym before school started honing his skills and using the fact he didn’t make varsity as his motivation. He would prove his coach wrong, made varsity his junior year and scored 35 points in his first game. Jordan’s impact on the game of basketball inspired a generation to “be like Mike” and to pursue their dreams and achieve greatness. Jordan was a savage when it came to using external motivators as fuel that ignited a passion in him to not just beat, but conquer and take the will of his opponents. He was a master at using the massive chip on his shoulder.

Outer critics

Brady, Jordan and countless other athletes and high achievers use chips on their shoulder to their advantage. I’m gonna prove this mofo wrong!… is a pretty darn powerful motivator. Silencing the critics gets you in the gym everyday, keeps you training, studying, practicing, honing your skills and perfecting your craft. Whether thats sports, school, music, art, sales or whatever it is you do. Wanting to silence the haters and doubters gets you to show up on days you want to stay in bed.

Silencing the doubters or what I refer to as the OUTER critics is extremely fulfilling when you successfully do so. Hell I’ve had people tell me I’m stupid right to my face and have been called a loser even by people close to me. I can’t say I blame them I was living in my parent’s basement at 30 years old unemployed. In the moment, it sucks when people throw stones and try to tear you down. But looking back, I’m grateful for the haters and doubters. I used their shit-talking as fuel that made the fire burn hotter and hotter within me.

Inner critics

There are outer critics to contend with, but then there is the all-powerful INNER critic. The inner critic is the quiet voice in our head that whispers fear and doubt in our ear when times get tough. Doubt causes us to hesitate and avoid the actions we know we need to take.

For years my doubts got the best of me, until one day I said NO MORE and started leveling up my life and got on the path of high-performance. I haven’t looked back. It literally took me 20 years to figure out how to silence my inner critic. Now, I feel it’s my responsibility and duty to share what’s worked for me to help others who are battling their own inner critic.

This is the framework I have used to conquer my inner critic, my “demon of doubt” as I call it.

• Master your internal dialogue - We must consciously observe the thoughts that are going through our heads and replace any negative self-talk with positive self-talk. For example, when we hear our voice of doubt say “how am I going to do this?”, replace it with “I AM GOING TO DO THIS!”. Think of your mind like a radio. Just like you can change the station on the radio to a different frequency to a different song you choose to listen to, you can choose to change the station in your mind to a different frequency to a different thought that you choose to listen to. Very simple concept, but very difficult to implement as it’s hard to be present and aware of our thoughts at all times, but with practice you will get better over time. This has been the #1 factor that has led to me turning my life around. Put bluntly - Own your mind or it will own you.

• Conquer your demons daily - Prove to yourself everyday that you are capable of doing hard things and persevering through pain and adversity. There is no better way to do this than doing hard physical activity like weight training, biking, running or hiking. When you choose hard physical activity as your normal environment and become accustomed to putting in the work and executing even when you’re tired, you will become someone who is well equipped to handle any and all outside circumstances. Think of it this way. When you embrace the suck of a hard weight training routine and you show up and do it even on days you don’t want to. When you CHOOSE that as your normal internal environment, there is nothing from the external environment that you can’t handle.

• Protect your daily non-negotiables - Establish elite standards and habits that reinforce your identity as someone who is disciplined and intentional with their day. This starts with a disciplined morning mindset routine (MMR). There is no one-size-fits-all morning routine, but it's critical to have a morning routine and system that sets you up for a successful day - here is an example of mine.

• Realize that the pain IS the way - When the pain of the current reality becomes greater than the fear of change, that is when true change takes place. When the pain that you have is so intense, that it is greater than the fear of the unknown, then you will have the courage to go into the unknown. You will have the courage to go into the abyss. The progress you are searching for is in the pain you are avoiding. This was my life long issue - I chose the path of least resistance and left me with decades of wasted time, regret and put me in a major hole financially, professionally and emotionally.

• Reframe your setbacks - As difficult as it is, you must reframe hardships and look at them as arrows in your quiver that you will use to slay future dragons. "And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." Source: James Clear

• Accept that no one is coming - No is coming to save you. Action is the answer. You must rid yourself from over-analyzing, dwelling on past mistakes, self-pity and victim mentality.

• The secret is there is NO secret - There is no magic pill and no shortcuts. There is only work, persistence, grit, more work, controlled aggression, blood, sweat and tears over long periods of time. This is not sexy, but it's the truth.

• Be ruthless about your environment - Be very careful who you surround yourself with. You may lose friends as you elevate your standards. Protect your mindset with an invisible forcefield and only allow things in that are in alignment with your standards. You have to be very conscious of your thoughts and be the silent watcher and constantly self-audit without judgement. Eliminate doom-scrolling on social media. Instead, follow a cultivated list of online mentors and consume moderate levels of their content. Say no more than you say yes and get rid of distractions.

• Avoid playing the comparison game - Don't worry about being better than the person next to you, just commit to being better than you were yesterday. Compare yourself to yourself and push to get better everyday. Everyone is on a different path. Although it’s helpful to have mentors and people you look up to in your life or online, just remember don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 100. We are all on a different life trajectory.

• Check your ego at the door and be a life long learner - Maintain a growth mindset and invest in coaching and mentorship. The best money you can spend is on personal development and being mentored by someone who is where you want to get to. I didn’t start working with coaches until I was 46. I wish I worked started much earlier!

Conquering your inner critic is not a “one and done”, we must practice these principles DAILY to keep the inner critic and the demon of doubt at bay. Once you commit to the principles described in this framework over time, they will become part of who you are. They will become standards. You will develop a new identify and there will be no turning back.

Your path of high-performance is in front of you. Do you have the courage to take the first step?